life

Thinking of turning 21 this year, i have yet to plan my courier.

Have been thinking what i really want to work in my next entire life,

I just want a higher pay job after getting my cert, but its hard to find a job

that suit your interest.

In the process of growing up, i have less communication with parents.

I really missed those time being young, i wished i could stop some things from happening.

I'm tired, tired of seeing things i don't wish to see when i got home.

But no choice.

I missed those days i used to enjoy outside, singing k etc.

I want those life, i want to do something that can keep myself occupied!

While we are getting older, we have less time to enjoy.

Really.

Just want to be happy (:

Grant my wish,
I want to travel to
Bintan, BKK, taiwan this year!

My temper

Just being too hot tempered all the time, I don't even understand why neither do others understand me too.

I hate myself some times for not being able to control my emotion. I know I shouldn't be like this.

Have tried many ways to control but failed. I am sorry mummy I shouldn't have rant my temper at you when I can't find my stuffs. I know it's hurtful ):

Love

Sometimes I'd wish time could rewind to be loved by mum & dad.

Each day I am growing up, I feel like we all have drifted apart.

Mum used to pamper me when I am sick, but till now she nv fail to care about me. Yes, I love her . She is the most understanding mum even though sometimes she refuse to buy me my favourite things but it's alright, as long as I know she still care & protect me whenever dad loses his temper & scolded me. I am
Not saying dad is a bad guy, but I dislike his unreasonable temper. He can be nice & he can be mean at times.

I just love those days when I am young, I never have so much problems that I am carrying now. I feel so stress up sometimes & even threw my temper at bf. I am sorry dear, I know I shouldn't be like this. But I have tried controlling, it fail.

My attitude is getting worst, tell me, tell me how should I control?

Changes

I wish things could get better,
There is so much things I want to say.
I need my courage!

Sometime things just lies on me.
How to stop throwing attitude?

Losing out

Have been feeling a little impatient recently, bad temper is what I got.
I told myself to be understanding,
To stop the negative thoughts.
But negative thoughts never fail to run through my mind.

I don't know what I really want sometimes.
Feel stupid. Oh well, shall stop all this shits, hopefully I can!

Time flies, today is granny's 1 year death anniversary. I miss her so so so much, i don't know if I should be happy or sad, losing her was sad, but by seeing grandpa and her able to get together again after separating for years I should be happy for them isn't it?

I hope granny you have leads me the right path, hope you blessed all of us. & sometime I may need you to guide me through down the road... I wish to see you smile once more! Hope you can come to my dream. Xoxo

Start of 2013

Beef Udder  (His) 

Big Udder Chomp (mine)

First week of NEW YEAR, was well spent with dearest.

Back then, i told him i wanted to eat waffle ice-cream.

& he said he wanted to eat waffles w meats on it.

Am so lazy to search online to satisfied his want,

But just happen when we alight the bus at Thomson,

we saw this shop name "udder" just right outside the bus-stop.

Hence we went in there to have our lunch,

The food there taste simply awesome!

Shall go back there again to try other food.

It's gonna be a month... Hoping things would get better..

快乐是什么？

I have been wondering always, what have my life turned into for this 20 years of my life?
Sometimes, i think i am old enough to make my own decision.
I just hate being told what to do, & what not to do.
Just dislike being treated like a kid, dislike doing things i am unhappy with.
I know people care, but i just want to be independent enough instead of listening what
others decision which they think they are right.

Why i can't have my freedom even till now?
Why must i being treated the way i don't wish to be treated?
All this question have been dangling inside me.
Even if i choose my own boyfriend i have go through people?
My 21st party, i want it to be a memorable one not a disappointment one.

Being dote is good, but not being controlled.
Maybe by staying out late always let people think i am still immature,
but i know what i am doing.
I know what is right & what is wrong.
I just wish people could stop commenting things on what i am doing.

By hiding away from everything doesn't seems to help.
I want to go overseas with friends..
I know dad won't allow...
Haiz. Why do adults have this old kind of thinking..
Even if i explain nicely, it doesn't seems to help..
Sometimes i just think there is no point explaining when dad got tense up easily.
I don't know what my life is up to now?

I am envy of other family sometimes where they are so closed tgt.
Not having a family where everyday have to listen to quarrels,
Banging of things here and there.
this is the reason why i dislike being at home!
Even if i feel tired after work, hoping to have a good rest at home
it always seems so hard.

I wonder if i got married, will my life still be controlled?
Life is getting tougher for me now.
too much!