快乐是什么？

I have been wondering always, what have my life turned into for this 20 years of my life?
Sometimes, i think i am old enough to make my own decision.
I just hate being told what to do, & what not to do.
Just dislike being treated like a kid, dislike doing things i am unhappy with.
I know people care, but i just want to be independent enough instead of listening what
others decision which they think they are right.

Why i can't have my freedom even till now?
Why must i being treated the way i don't wish to be treated?
All this question have been dangling inside me.
Even if i choose my own boyfriend i have go through people?
My 21st party, i want it to be a memorable one not a disappointment one.

Being dote is good, but not being controlled.
Maybe by staying out late always let people think i am still immature,
but i know what i am doing.
I know what is right & what is wrong.
I just wish people could stop commenting things on what i am doing.

By hiding away from everything doesn't seems to help.
I want to go overseas with friends..
I know dad won't allow...
Haiz. Why do adults have this old kind of thinking..
Even if i explain nicely, it doesn't seems to help..
Sometimes i just think there is no point explaining when dad got tense up easily.
I don't know what my life is up to now?

I am envy of other family sometimes where they are so closed tgt.
Not having a family where everyday have to listen to quarrels,
Banging of things here and there.
this is the reason why i dislike being at home!
Even if i feel tired after work, hoping to have a good rest at home
it always seems so hard.

I wonder if i got married, will my life still be controlled?
Life is getting tougher for me now.
too much!